Sleep...or the lack thereof

It's that marvelous time of night when I should be asleep...like two hours ago. Haha. But for some reason I always end up staying up late for no apparent reason at all. I wish I had a good reason or excuse for doing so, but really, there isn't. I just don't feel like going to bed. More on principle than anything else. Perhaps I'll regret it tomorrow, but for now, it seems like a rather good idea. Haha. And I rather prefer to sleep in as late as I can.

And on a more serious note, life has presented quite the wonderful circumstances to me for me to be happy. I believe this has happened to me in the past as well, but I generally tend to sabotage these moments when they arise. In the words of one of my psychologists, I don't want to be happy. Or maybe I want to be happy, but I won't let myself be happy. Whenever something good happens, I find a way to bring myself back down again. It's a cycle I've been in for quite a long time and one I've slowly been trying to get out of. But I find, like most things, it's much easier said than done. And being slightly masochistic, it's almost as if I need to hurt myself; mentally rather than physically. But, this time around, it seems as if the people around me actually want me to be happy. Weird concept, I know. But they strive to make me want to be happy and not allow me to come down on myself or to 'sabotage' my happiness. So it looks to be a rather good run, one that I've not known for quite some time. All I can do now is optimistically hope that this trend may continue and that progress is being made, for once. Haha, the four hours of therapy a week might actually be doing some good. And good friends. One can never underestimate the power of a good friend. They're quite wonderful! : )

Random want of the moment: I want a new pair of blue suede shoes. Mine are getting rather beaten up, but I can't throw them away, I need blue suede shoes!!! Haha, so I better keep an eye out for any that may be promising, though I lack the funds to purchase them anyhow. But who cares! I can still dream! : )