M & M

M & M's are wonderful things of which I have already spoken of. But for some reason or another, it has recently taken on quite a new meaning for me. By recently, I mean in the last 5 minutes or so. Haha. Anyhow, M & M technically means Mars and Milky Way. But I propose a new one for me. March and Mom. M & M. Quite the convenient coincidence.

March is always an interesting month. There's always a lot of stuff going on it seems, but it never seems like quite enough is going on to distract me enough. But perhaps I shouldn't try to distract myself. That doesn't deal with the problem at all, merely sets it aside for awhile. But that seems to be the path that I take with it. Granted, it's safe. Or at least it seems safer than having to deal with it. But a lot has changed for me in the past 6 months or so. I can see why the church makes me wait 6 months after starting Prozac before I can resubmit my papers. There's a lot that can happen to you in 6 months. Quite remarkable really. And perhaps this change will allow me to deal with it, to confront it, to celebrate it as opposed to just avoiding it. While definitely easier said than done, I think it's still possible. Haha, I was an optimist yesterday! It was my turn! : ) Albeit, I'm not the best optimist in the world, but it's really the thought that counts.

In the devotional that was given this week, the professor shared a story about how they had made a book about his father so that his children that did not know him could get a glimpse at who their father was. This man was 6 years old when his father died and obviously doesn't have a good memory of his father at all. I was 12, but really, not much changes in those 6 years. Your memory of that time is only slightly better than it was at 6. And as this guy was talking about that, I was like, Hey! I have one of those for mom! Dad made them for all of us for Christmas a year or so ago. That is definitely the best Christmas present that I have ever received. But in hindsight, I have not taken advantage of it. I guess I've been too scared, too afraid that it will make things worse by reading it that I really haven't looked at it much at all. I've only read a few pages of it in all honesty. I just never quite felt ready to read it. But this March brings up a new opportunity to do so, a way to celebrate her birthday and her life in general. Perhaps that is a healthy way to deal with it this year. Tons of M & M's do taste really good, but this is probably a better way to celebrate, although I'm still getting the M & M's.

As I have been given such a marvelous gift, I should take advantage of it. I think I'll make that a new goal of mine: to read part of her journal every day. I think there is a lot that I can gain from this and that it will only help me to progress. Instead of March being a depressing month because of Mom, perhaps it can be a cheerful month because of her as well. I think she'd like it that way. : )

On a different note, I found a shirt online that has "rat" from Pearls Before Swine on it. And it says, "People are Idiots. I hate them." I've always wanted that shirt, and I've generally always had that view on people, though I do try to hide it. But recently, it seems that that is not the case, that perhaps people are nice, and I Like them!