Pyschologist = Fun

So I went to the psychologist today. Nothing new there. But what he said today was quite hilarious, and so darn true. Haha, I never really thought of it this way, so it was pretty sweet. It seems to me that anytime I mention that my mom died when I was 12, it's pretty much a conversation stopper. Everything just gets really awkward and so I generally just try to avoid telling it to people. Which I, and my psychologist, think is a rather dumb thing to do. And here's his insight. He was very surprised that that is such a conversation stopper. It's not like I told them I molest little kids or something, but that seems to be how they react. I never really thought it unusual for people to react this way b/c that's how they've always reacted to me. But he says that that really isn't all that normal. And people don't usually react that way to it. Which is cool, b/c I've always thought that was how everyone would react and apparently I was wrong. I love being wrong in this case. Haha. But he's so right. It's not something that should be inherently awkward. Yes, she died, that's sad. But not awkward or disturbing.

We also had a pretty good discussion about the month of March. March is typically the worst month for me as far as this goes. Mom's Birthday is the 14th and she died on the 23rd. So it's generally a pretty brutal month in that respect. But, it doesn't have to be. And really, it shouldn't be. I have a tradition where I buy like 5 pounds of M and M's around her Birthday and they last me till about the end of the month...depending on how hungry I am. They won't last nearly that long this year. Haha. But my psych asked why I do that every year. Obviously, b/c she loved M and M's. But really, it's my way of celebrating my mom. I don't typically look at it w/ that optimistic slant to it. I generally say I'm buying the M and M's to drown my sorrow in chocolate or something. But really, I'm celebrating her life. And trust me, there's quite a bit to celebrate there. And this year, it will be really nice b/c the weekend of the 14th Melanie and her kids will be coming up here to Utah and I'm giving a presentation at the Utah Energy Conference on the 13th. And Erin is living w/ Dick and Michelle up in Bountiful, so it will be quite the fun family get together around Mom's Birthday this year. I think she appreciates that. It seems like a rather good present to me; family getting together and having fun. I'm pretty sure Mom thinks that's a great Birthday present. So that's pretty neat. All in all, my trip to the psych was really good today. And after last night, it really had to be. So it was nice to be able to talk about Mom and not make things awkward. Pyschs are good for that kind of stuff. I only wish that other people were a little bit more receptive, but eventually someone will be. Or at least I'll keep believing that anyhow. : )