I got my Crest Pro Health!!!!

So we went to Wal Mart and I got my super amazing toothpaste back! And I got the whitening kind. Never tried this variety, but it seems to be cleaning just as well. So I'll take it! And I'm sure you all have noticed the marvelous change to the look of my blog. I think it's way super amazing and AWESOME (as is everything I do, haha). But now, I'm looking for input. Does anyone think there's anything, font/color or otherwise, that should be changed to make it more......reader friendly?

Bananas are Yellow and I miss my Crest Pro Health

So the subject doesn't have much to do about anything really. Though I do miss MY toothpaste. Haha. I am now using some Colgate Total plus Whitening. It's pretty good stuff, but it's not my Crest Pro Health. Haha. I am definitely a Crest fan and not a Colgate person. And that is that. So I've been a very good boy about going to the gym! I'm supposed to go to the gym to help gain weight and be healthy and such. I know, being healthy. It's an evil plan that my doctors have for me. Though as I've said before and I'll say again, I'm ready to do everything to make myself healthy for once. Both Heather and Holly said the 30's are easier than the 20's, but I'd like to see if I can make my 20's decent. :) In other health news, my surgery is not giving me any problems any more. At least in the last 3 weeks. So that's really good! I still have the awesome scar, which is totally cool. I'm even gonna try to work out my abs today! That's how good it feels! :) Oh, and I finished all the paperwork and it all got approved and such for my triumphant return to BYU. I'm gonna go back at the end of April for Spring term. It'll be super good fun and amazingness. It'll be nice to be back at school and Healthy for once. Hoorays! And I'm wearing a cool shirt today, if you were wondering. :) Peace out for now.

All We Are, we are

As some of you may know, the first three words of the title are a song by Matt Nathanson. I'd suggest listening to it as it is really good. But to continue to what I really want to write, it does have a good message. All we are is exactly who we are. And this sounds simple and perhaps even stupid, but that doesn't matter. The true beauty in this is knowing who we really are and enjoying every second of it. For too many years, I've tried to lie to myself, convince myself, or otherwise change my perspective of who I was; that I didn't need to be happy and abandonment is no big deal. Now that's just two, but they're probably the biggest. Sometimes, if not always, it takes a life changing even for one to make such changes and realize they've been lying to themselves all along. For me, that would be cops storming into my bedroom. Scary as all get out, but necessary. And after all of this, and the help I am currently receiving I've been able to realize that one simple truth: All we are, we are. So enjoy it and make the very best of the person that you are! Or at least work towards it, that's my goal anyhow. It will take a while, but it is a goal I foresee myself accomplishing. :) Peace out for now.

Psych Ward......again!

So as all of you know already, or I assume you do, I was in the psych ward from Thursday night till Monday afternoon. This time I was in the one down in Provo and not in Salt Lake. This one is a lot more prison feeling and the food wasn't as good. Oh, and I couldn't get all the Dr. Pepper I wanted. But other than that, it was good. And actually, there was one great thing about this place. They follow this "lifetrap" philosophy thing. It's all out of this book called "Reinventing Your Life." This book was basically life changing for me.

I went to UNI after an anxiety attack so that I couldn't even try to attempt suicide. But this time, I had actually tried to commit suicide. Two cop cars, an ambulance, AND a fire truck came. That pretty much scared the crap out of me. Especially since I am really afraid of cops and he was the first one to arrive. And of course a lot of people were standing around looking to see what happened. So then I walked myself into the ambulance, crowd watching, and went to the hospital. They put me in the pediatric room. That was awesome. It was all decorated with Finding Nemo stuff. SOOOOO COOL. And Happy. So the social worker finally came in, and it wasn't Randy this time. Whew. He's the idiot who kicked me out of the ER in October. Anyhow, this nice new social worker came in and told me basically that I was gonna be staying there. So I did. And then I got all my nice reading and thinking and praying in. And there were a lot of group therapy things that I went to as well. And in the end, I've decided to make some much needed changes in my life that will help me to be MUCH happier and hopefully keep me out of the psych ward in the future. Oh, and they added Wellbutrin with my Prozac. That's the other change. Guess we'll see how that works. Anyhow, that's once again my life as it stands right now.

Clyde go BOOM!

So I think that anytime you plan on waking up early and have lots of stuff planned to do during your day, you may as well just sleep in because your plans will get screwed up anyhow. Case in point, the Clyde building (engineering building) is closed all day today. Apparently a contractor blew up a transformer and caused a gas leak inside the building. So it was all evacuated and nobody is allowed back in until they get it all fixed. Usually, not that bad, but I had like 3 things planned to do at work today. There were two catalysts that needed final impregnations and TPO to analyze and a TPR to run. But NO! I can't do any of those. Usually I wouldn't really care, but I want hours at work! Haha, me need moneys! Secondly, I need to get this data done as I have to present it all in less than a month. At least I get to do that. The ORCA grant stuff didn't work out so well. Our group went 0/3 in ORCA grants this year. Lame. Oh wells. In other news, I did get a pay raise at work, always appreciated. And i get to work more hours as well. Another bonus. So in the meantime I guess I just try to catch up w/ the work I missed being in the hospital. It shouldn't be too bad now that I only have 8 credits. (LAME, I would like a healthy semester for once!!!!) Anyhow, that's me in a nutshell at this moment.

Surgery is fun?

Okey doke. So in lieu of telling the story multiple times, I find easiest to just blog about it! Woohoo! Plus I haven't blogged in quite some time, so those of you who have been waiting (I write as if anybody cares) here a new one is. So almost two weeks ago by now (wow, it's been a long time) I got this incredibly bad pain in my stomach. Actually below my stomach, in the intestinal area. And to top that off, I couldn't eat anything without throwing it all back up again! Pretty good stuff, I know. So I tried to tough it out and just wait for it to fix itself. But after like 16 hours and a night with literally no sleep b/c of the pain, I decided to go to the ER. Always good times there.

So I get in the ER and they do their spiel and take forever and a day to do anything about the pain. But thankfully they gave me something for pain and something for nausea. Then they took some x-rays. I didn't know that you could find intestinal problems on an x-ray. Anyhow, I sit in the ER, they run my blood tests and urine tests and give me a whole bunch of fluids b/c the throwing up all night has made me quite dehydrated. So after many hours, like 7 or 8, probably average for an ER, the doctor comes in and tells me it's just a bowel obstruction that will go away on it's own and he prescribes me some percoset for the pain and some zofran for nausea and was about to send me on my way. Then he asks me if they did any x-rays and such. First, how does he almost discharge me without looking? Anyhow, I tell him they took three. So he goes and looks at them and the radiologist suggested I get a CT scan of my intestines b/c the x-ray showed some abnormal stuff. Ironically, when you can't keep any food down and your intestines are blocked, they make you drink 6 cups of apple juice mixed with contrast. Crank up the nausea meds....that's about all that can really be said at that point. So I dutifully drink it all down and then they take me to get the CT scan. Pretty fun stuff. Actually, they're really boring. So they finish and bring me back to my lovely ER room. Guess what happens next?

Yup, you guessed it. I wait some more! Eventually my nurse asks if they have received the results of my CT scan, and they had....a while ago. Go figure. But this time instead of just the ER doctor, they also bring in the trauma guy working at that time. You know you're in for some fun when they call in the trauma guy. So he comes in to deliver the diagnosis. Apparently, I had a volvulus. It's kind of a cool word I guess. Basically it means that my intestines got all twisted up around themselves, wikipedia it if you really want to see. He explains this to me, and then tells me the good part! A volvulus can kill your small intestines pretty quickly and I may already have some dead tissue. GREAT. And the cherry on top? This was all caused by some scar tissue from the surgery WHEN I WAS BORN! A 21 year time bomb. Awesome stuffs. So then they wheel me into the ER. Naturally, I want to know what they're gonna use. And they be using Propofol, that stuff that killed Michael Jackson. Sign me up. And then they put me under and I don't remember a thing.

Then I came out (please hold all gay jokes, I didn't say the closet), and they gave me a nice SMALL room on the surgical floor. Then I got to chill there with some morphine and nurses and patient care techs and all that good stuff till Saturday (surgery was on Sunday). Then I got home and did nothing, except take a lot of percoset. Now, almost another week after that, I'm still taking my percoset! But at least I made it to class and such. Well, today. I'm gonna try to make it to all of my classes tomorrow! Wish me luck! So all in all, I almost lost my small intestines last week. And now I have them. Hooray!

So after all the hub bub of the past week, which I will blog about later, here are the pictures I took while everyone was around! Enjoys!